What are We Afraid of?

I think we've all noticed it. Every year, starting sometime before Thanksgiving and lasting until all the gifts are open on December 25^th, we celebrate Christmas. It’s a time filled with music and shopping, baking and trying to find the ugliest of sweaters to wear. It’s an overall joyful time. Even amidst the consumerism, people are more generous, more joyful, and tend to finish out the year with a bang.

However, we also hear in nearly every homily how we need to be celebrating Advent more. We need to be preparing. We need to be treating this time as the "Little Lent" it is meant to be. Jesus is coming, and we need to prepare our hearts!

And it makes sense right? I mean, the Church seems to know what she’s doing. It makes sense to keep Christ in Christmas; I mean it started because of him. But we still have to shop and prepare. Family is coming! What’s the harm in going to the Christmas parties and wearing those terrible sweaters? There is a practical preparation that needs to happen as well!

So, as a result, we do a really good job of celebrating Christmas and a really poor job of celebrating Advent. Partially because Advent gets lost in the hustle. Partially because we don’t know exactly what it means to prepare our hearts. But I think there is another element that we don’t like to talk about.

To truly prepare for the Infant Christ scares us.

Now I don’t mean the porcelain Jesus you place in the manger or the baby that Mary is holding in the picture on the wall. I mean the living, breathing, crying, squirming, delicate, newborn Baby Jesus of Nazareth. Here is the baby who’s very birth split history. Here is the baby who knew exactly who he was before he could even talk. Here is the baby who, as he lays in your arms and looks into your eyes, knows who you are, and what you have done, and what he will do for you. Yet, despite how much bigger he is and how sinful we are, consents to trust himself to your care.

As we prepare for the Season of Christmas, don’t just think of Advent as some obligatory time of quiet before we can finally celebrate. It’s not just a season of pipe down. Advent, and the preparation it offers, is the period in which we ready our hearts to accept the gravity of Jesus’ birth. It’s a time to take a deep breath and calm our shaking hands so that we can hold him more securely. Advent allows us walk with the Holy Family to Bethlehem, sit in the cave, and await the Newborn King of Kings.

So, absolutely prepare for Christmas. Buy the gifts and bake the cookies. But also prepare by taking time to meditate on how big a moment the Nativity will truly be, and open your arms wide to our delicate and humble Lord.

Happy Advent

St Joseph, father of the Holy Family, Pray for us

God, Father of our Savior, bless us

At a Loss For Words

The study of linguistics has always fascinated me. To be human is to express oneself to others, and we do that through and ever expanding structure of words and grammar that create endlessly shifting possibilities as we learn and experience language as it applies to our own lives as well as how it applies to the lives and experiences of others. We are able to speak on most anything, describe most anything, and, to an extent, encapsulate most anything into words and phrases that paint pictures all their own in the minds of our listeners.

However, no matter who we are or how eloquently we are able to speak, our language still falls short in many aspects. We can try to describe our personal experiences and feelings to others, but this operates only on the assumption that their experience overlaps enough with ours that they are able to relate. Otherwise, we stand unable to express the full depth of our experience or, for that matter, our being. We stand at a loss.

This is also the case when we talk about things that go far beyond our experience, or anyone's experience as it stands created. To speak about God or the truth of faith is to automatically bind oneself into an inherently limited framework. Yes, language has the ability to encapsulate all that stands before us as created beings, but it cannot and can never begin to fully express, let alone capture, the reality of God or of Eternal life. These things stand beyond our experience. We know them through the divine and generous revelation of God, but even these revelations, which are only a snapshot of reality, stand beyond what can be captured by words.

So we use language that is understandable. Heaven is wedding feast. Jesus the Lamb. God is Father. The Church is the Body and Bride of Christ. But even these expressions are limited. God is Father, but his fatherhood so far exceeds any fatherhood that we can know here on earth. The same applies for words spoken about Mary as Queen of Heaven, or of the many titles of Jesus. A word spoken by a creature such as ourselves cannot describe the Creator who exceeds creation. So, as a consequence, we express our faith in limited terms, not in some feigned attempt at acknowledgment, but to the best of our ability which is due to God. We can never be truly just to God because he deserves more than we can offer, but we speak as truthfully and as reverently as we can, knowing that we must fall short, but will do so by striving.

This is what we refer to as the principle of transposition; the idea that lower ranks of things attempt to encapsulate or describe high forms through varying combinations of limited expression. Take for instance a pencil drawing. I can use a line, shade or smudge in an attempt to draw a flower. The lines I use can take different shapes, but they are still lines. On the level of the image, the elements used to create the image may seem repetitive and unsatisfactory, especially when you know what it is trying to represent. You may even scoff at the idea that a line used to make a stem can also be used to make a leaf. However, when the image is seen in the light of what it is trying to represent, the lines, while limited, still express truth. This way, the lines used are pulled into the reality of the flower, and justified in relation to the higher thing by expressing truth through lower means.

Look at this principle in the realm of faith. We know heaven as a wedding feast between Jesus and the Church, but the idea is often passed over or scoffed at. We know weddings by our experience, and when we try to limit the higher image of heaven into the lower expression of the word "wedding", we shoot ourselves in the foot and lose credibility. However, when we see our metaphor in light of the higher reality, suddenly the word takes on more meaning as it describes an element of the higher reality.

So, as we can see, transposition, works in two directions. The lower element tries to describe and capture a bit of the higher truth, but it cannot until the higher truth is revealed and pulls the lower expression into itself. By this, our words are sanctified, and we can speak truth about exceeding goodness, love, and truth despite our own limited nature and expression.

So what happens with the disparity left over? What happens within the person to which truth is revealed if he cannot express it totally? This is the individual and personal love of God. He knows that the human person cannot express totally the revelation he is given, even when the revelation is itself just a snapshot. There will always be a part that goes unsaid because it cannot simply be spoken. This is the gift God gives to the person who speak of him. God provides both the speakable and unspeakable realities, and that which is unspeakable in it goodness only enriches the person gifted with it.

This is why we must pray for revelation and speak the Gospel at all times. We are speaking truth in order to receive truth. We are making known what we can with the faith that the knowledge itself is a gift.

St Joseph, pray for us.

God, Father in Heaven, bless us

I'm Laughing at your Testimony

To provide witness is central to the notion of evangelization. After all, people can refute or reject facts, but it is another thing entirely to reject the deep personal experience of another human being. You can tell me that my interpretation of a text is flawed or that my sources are wrong or incomplete, but when I tell you that my belief is based in a concrete experience, the debate takes on a different and more transcendental character. It is for this personal and central reason that to give your testimony or your witness must be taken seriously. Even Pope Paul VI, in Evangelii Nuntiandi (1975), states that "modern man listens more willingly to witnesses than to teachers, and if he does listen to teachers, it is because they are first witnesses."

Thus, the personal witness of faith is to held in highly sacred esteem. However, if you have ever listened to a witness talk, or given one, you have seen that when a person lays out a picture of who they once were and the life they lived in comparison to who they are currently, it becomes very clear that every witness is comedy in the grandest sense of the word.

Now, before you grab your pitchforks and label me as one who disregards the seriousness of a witness, let us first look at what a witness is. To give one's testimony or witness is a legal proceeding. Essentially, in the case for Christ, one gives their witness before God and man of their experience, testifying to the truth, and nothing but the truth, so help them God. It is precisely because the testimony, whether religious or secular, is so highly regarded that dishonesty, or perjury, is so dramatically punished. To perjure oneself is to take what is true and knowingly misrepresent it at the moment when that truth is most essential. This is what Jesus means when he says "he who blasphemes against the Spirit will never be forgiven" (Mark 3:29). To perjure ones religious testimony is to blaspheme the Spirit and its works. It is to speak lies about God and his actions when it matters most.

So how can something so serious be considered a comedy? When one describes the lengths to which God has gone to bring them out of sin, it cannot possibly be comedic. But of course it is! In fact, it is the grandest comedy available to us. Of course, by comedy I do not just mean humor, though the humor us included and essential. When we speak of comedy, we mean the grand form which encompasses the entirety of a story and reveals to us deeper truth.

We understand comedy in two way which can both be used to describe a personal witness statement. The first, and arguably the most widely recognized is finding humor in that which is absurd. It is precisely in the absurdity presented to us, insofar as it clashes with what we consider rational or normal, that we find humor. Apply this to a witness. When one describes a life prior to conversion, especially when that former life is steeped in sin, we find absurdity. It is considered shocking and even illogical because the person who is painting this picture of him/herself is so far removed from the image being presented. These images clash and it is in this clash where we find comedy. To put the two figures next to one another is a humorous tableau. As one looks back on who they were without Christ, there absolutely should be a part of them that laughs to him/herself about the idea of who they were, and this humor and joy can only be found so far as they are removed from their former life.

The second element of comedy is what i refer to as the theatrical definition. Dicitonary.com defines comedy as:

 A play, movie, ect., of light and humorous character with a happy and cheerful ending; a dramatic work in which the central motif is the triumph over adverse circumstance, resulting in a successful or happy conclusion.

Now, how can one who has an experience of the saving power of God, and witness to the same, read that definition and not see how plainly it describes a personal testimony? To tell of the victories of God in one's life is to describe the triumph over adversity by definition. To talk of life in Christ or, to take an eternal step forward, heaven, is to not just experience a successful or happy result, it is to result in all that is success and all that is happiness. When seen theatrically, eternal life is the ultimate triumph over the ultimate adversity of sin, pointing us to the fact that each story in which these element play out is the ultimate comedy.

A personal witness is not some drab thing. If it is, you're doing it wrong! To give a witness to the power of Jesus working in your life is to speak of joy and happiness in its very essence! Yes, elements of your story are going to be serious, but what comedy exists that doesn't have a single serious moment? What we give testimony to is the power and love of a God who is love, who brought us out of sin and death through love to live an eternity of love in him! We can see through this lens that our walk of faith is meant to be a comedy, and not only that, but a romantic comedy!

So, when you tell your story, tell it with a smile on your face. Laugh at yourself! Laugh at who you were! Give testimony to the joy that you have, not just the story you like to tell. We cannot teach unless we are first witnesses, and we cannot be those witnesses without expressing the joy which has been given us.

St Joseph, pray for us
God, Father in Heaven, bless us

Scientism: A Willing Ignorance

In 1884, Edwin A. Abbott wrote Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions. The book is set in a world inhabited by two-dimensional shapes that play roles within this two dimensional world. The shapes see and experience life in one dimension, much how we as 3D persons see the world as a two dimensions. The inhabitants of this world flatly deny (pun intended) that there can be a world that has more than two dimensions because, in their experience, they have never seen a 3D object, and nor can they because of their limited ability to see or measure. Therefore, they reject the idea that anything beyond flatland exists.

This is the case until a sphere passes through Flatland. The 2D shapes cannot take this sphere in fully, in fact they can only see him as different sizes circles as he literally passes through Flatland, transcending the binds of the two dimensions and experiencing his third. Not only that, but to further prove himself, the sphere takes a square up and out of flatland in order to give him a birds-eye view, and forever changing the square's outlook on reality. For a clearer summary, click here.

I want to take a moment to look at this book as a commentary on the phenomena of scientism that is rampant within our culture. Scientism is the philosophical, not scientific (more on that later), idea that, if something cannot be measured or observed by science, it cannot exist. This idea is subscribed to by everyone from leading atheists to your run-of-the-mill cultural devotee with a bone to pick against organized religion. Scientism-based thought generally come at the head of the atheistic apologetic, and is presented as being at odds with any notion of faith.

However, scientism is a philosophy that does not hold up under any kind of scrutiny. First of all, scientism is not scientific. The basis of science is to investigate and uncover that which has NOT been discovered. To say that all that exists is only what can be measured scientifically is to state one of two things. Either (a) you are basing life on the assumption that we currently fully understand and can measure all forces of nature and movements within the word, or (b) you are open to the idea that reality literally shifts every time a new discovery or theory is made. Under the former assumption, theoretical scientists simply become nerds with an imagination, and under the latter assumption, you are looking at reality itself as something that is inherently unstable, awaiting the next observation to further shift 'truth' into something else.

The second problem with scientism is that fact that it is a self-defeating proposition. To one that would say to me "all that is real is measurable and observable", I would respond by asking, "is that idea measurable and observable?" By that I mean, can you scientifically prove to me that all forces in the world are measurable and observable? Can you prove the content of that statement through the scientific method (developed by a catholic) and prove you hypothesis correct? The answer is an unadulterated "No Freaking Way!" To believe so is to contradict yourself, your purpose, and proves to me that you're simply a Dawkins fanboy with too much time to kill.

If this is you, you are terrible...

Finally, scientism does not leave room for the idea that there is something beyond our experience. Much like the inhabitants of Flatland, subscribers to scientism assume that our experience is the pinnacle of what can be known, and that our instruments for measurement are capable of measuring all that is. But if we cannot scientifically and empirically prove beyond any doubt that the basis of scientism is true, then room must be left for faith in something beyond what our 3D perspective can behold.

Honestly, I think the rejection of faith comes from our western fear of losing control. If we can measure every part of reality, we can then control and monitor every part of reality. However, if reality goes beyond what we can know with our senses, and if there is something that inhabits a world beyond our simple three dimensions, passing through yet transcending the reality we can know by observation, then it must be (a) more powerful than us, (b) beyond our control, and (c) know us better than we can know ourselves, just as we know the ins and outs of a character we draw or a shape we see.

We must allow ourselves, like the square in the story, to be lifted above what we know in order to see reality as it is, and to take in the idea that there is something more. The square did not experience the full length, width, and height of the three dimensional world, but he knew it was there. He could apply that knowledge back into his more limited reality and allow it to help shape him (more puns!). my encouragement is to ask yourself the question, "what if there are things we cannot measure?", and allow faith in something beyond the arrogant western view of self. Only then can we begin to grasp true reality.

St. Joseph, pray for us

God, Father in heaven, bless us.

Not Just About Babies Anymore...

Contraception and abortion seem to be of the go to objections by the Church about today's culture. Red flags go up when people talk about people talk about putting off or forgoing pregnancy, and the openness to life preached by Mother Church is often met with confusion, hostility, and outright anger. Why does the Church want to tell me how to act in the privacy of my own home? Why can't I make decisions for myself? What does God have to do with anything that happens in my bedroom? What seems to baffle people even more is why, when there's not even a conception through contraception, that "those Catholics" are still up in arms. The whole experience seems to come back to one pithy and standoffish comment-

"It's my life. I control what happens to it."

Who could be against this FACE!

And so, the central issue is revealed. People aren't against life, per say. I would go as far as to say that very few people are actually anti-life. People, simply put, are against losing control. The contraceptive mentality, so pervasive throughout western culture, is not just interested in whether or not babies are born. In fact, in the ongoing argument over contraception and abortion, it is the issues of control and personal autonomy that rear their heads much more often than questions of life. Women want to control their bodies. The Church is trying to control my life. I shouldn't be burdened with a child if I don't want one. Don't try to limit my freedom.

And so we see that the contraceptive mentality goes far beyond life issues. In the western world, people are afraid of not being able to be their own master and not being able to shape their lives the way they see fit. This is why we have cafeteria Christians who pick and choose the doctrines that they feel cater to their own sense of morality. This is why we have mothers and fathers that neglect or abandon their families because their spouse, children, or life don't look how they thought they would. This why we have spouses that are unfaithful to their loved ones when they get bored or aren't as attracted to the other as they once were. This is why suicide in the western world is so high. It's not simply that people are miserable on their own. It's that their lives aren't what they hoped they'd be. (Still think is has to do with misery? Then tell me how Haiti has a suicide rate of near zero.)

But this begs the question, whats so wrong with me being my on master? It's the American Dream after all! We are told from a young age that we can make our lives into anything we want them to be, and we try our hardest to do so. Success equals happiness, and this is made evident by the number of rich and successful actors, athletes, politicians, and musicians that have no problems and do no wrong because they control their own lives. 

Oh, wait, that's not the case at all! Recreational drug use is nearly equal across the socioeconomic stratum. Rich and successful people still cheat on their spouses and leave their families. Athletes and musicians still get arrested for drugs, violence, and all other manner of irresponsible and dangerous behavior. Suicide rate is highest among the wealthy. So it would seem that personal autonomy is not the way that people are achieving happiness or fulfillment.

So, whats the problem with a contraceptive mentality in which you do whatever it takes to form your life, relationships, faith, and work around your desires? The problem is that you make yourself your own god! Freedom has been misunderstood as license. Instead of trying to make ourselves available to goodness and right, we are placing our own wants and desires on a pedestal for worship.

You see, it's not enough to say that the contraceptive culture in which we live today simply offends the command not to kill, or that it can simply be rejected on the biological or human level. To truly encompass the entire problem of contraception and the contraceptive mindset, we have to see it as the worship of ourselves and our desires, and the rejection of God as creator and ruler. Within the contraceptive mindset, God is just there to make you feel good and give you the things you ask for. In a certain sense, contraception turns God into a vending machine.

Pop in a dollar, out pops a blessing

So what do we do to truly escape the contraceptive culture? How do we rise above self gratification and find true fulfillment? How do we truly open ourselves up to the fullness of life, not just in the womb, but throughout the span of a lifetime? We have to follow Jesus to the cross. In order to be lifted up, we need to lower ourselves. In order to fulfill our truest desires, we need to become a servant of others. In order to truly become sons and daughters of the living Father, we have to elevate him at a just place of authority in our lives, and from there we can find our true meaning and happiness.

We have to pray to move beyond what is easy or self gratifying. We have to put the needs of others before our own We have to overcome self-service with self-giving love for others. In a word, we need to overcome the culture of death and the fallacy of a contraceptive life by relinquishing our need for control. Only then can we begin to find some peace.

St Joseph, pray for us.

Father in Heaven, bless us.

Marriage and Relationships: A Commentary on a Commentary

Today's post is a commentary in response to a fascinating discussion that I stumbled upon recently. Father Robert Barron is a phenomenal priest who does amazing work and ministry throughout the world, including a series of YouTube clips in which he comments on pop culture, Catholic teaching, and moral issues. In this particular video, he comments on the idea of marriage by posing a very particular question: Why get married in the Church? What follows is a commentary on the subject that forces the viewer to shift his/her idea of marriage from what he calls a "shared egotism" to a communal and missionary entity.

There are a couple of points on which I would like to expand. The first being the idea of the relationship with a "transcendent third" that must exist in order to prevent a friendship or romantic relationship from devolving into "shared egotism", that is, from becoming so focused on the development of the love between the two, that it shuts out all others and becomes it's own end. In situations such as these, where there is nothing that draws the pair out of themselves , the two must lean completely on each other for growth and support, and this leads to the eventual implosion of a relationship that was not built on something solid to being with. On the other hand, when there exists a transcendent third, relationships are able to grow from a shared foundation and reach for a higher standard. In a way, the transcendent third, which supports the relationship while at the same time going beyond the limitations of the two persons, represents a source and summit from which the couple can both build and reach. It is this striving for God within relationships that strengthens the bond of love and helps it to take root. It also forces the couple to look beyond their own shared experience of love and into the needs of others, allowing the relationship to take on a missionary aspect.

This is why, as Fr. Barron puts is, the love between two people is not a reason to get married within the Church. If two people only wanted to be married because they love one another, they could go to a courthouse or to a drive-through wedding chapel. Marriage is not simply a way to publicly profess mutual love. While this is indeed an essential element, to be married in the Church is to say that God has called the two of you together in order to encourage one another in a relationship with himself, and toward the salvation of you. Not only that, but to get married in the Church professes a commitment to a mutual mission to which both have been called, and neither could complete alone.

This element of mission is even further educated by Paul's exhortation that wives be submissive to their husbands, and that husbands love their wives as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:22-25). This widely misunderstood passage simply states that spouses be under the same mission (sub-under, missio-mission), and that they love each other as Christ loved, giving his entire self for the good of his bride.

We can see that the two aspects of the marriage covenant play out inexorably with one another. In order to live out marriage, the two must be under the same mission given to them by God as a unit. At the same time, they must love each other as Christ loves, giving until it hurts, and sacrificing personal good for that of the other. The mission cannot be lived out without sacrificial love, and the love that is given must not be turned inward, but must be focused outward for the good of the couple and of others. Otherwise the mission, and the couple, would devolve and implode.

Marriage is to become a sign of the transcendent God who is at play in every detail. The love of God is not turned inward, but is directed toward the growth and life of his children. The love of God also lives out a mission within a Church to bring peoples to Christ and to bring them into an encounter with the living God. The married couple is meant to model this active and life giving love in order to bring God to the world, and bring the world to God.

So, we must ask ourselves, what is the mission that God wants my marriage (or future marriage) to live out? What is the need in this world that my marriage will fulfill? How will I love my spouse or future spouse and lead them to the God who simultaneously calls us together and calls us to action? As Fr Barron so deftly demonstrates, marriage within the Church brings with it a commission and commitment. The role of all married persons is to live out elements with love and faith in the God who is both foundation and summit.

St Joseph, model of manliness, pray for us

Father, God in heaven, bless us.

Skepticism or Fear?

Today is the feast day of St Thomas the apostle. Thomas, called Didymus or the Twin, is often spoken of in the scriptures. He is most well known for the passage in John read at today's mass (John 20:24-29). The reading goes as follows:

Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples aid to him, “We have seen the Lord.” But Thomas said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” Now a week later his disciples were again inside and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

 So, for whatever reason, Thomas was absent when Jesus appeared to the apostles the first time (John 20:19-22). Maybe he was out getting food or water. Maybe he was mourning the loss of Jesus who has died three days earlier. Maybe he was just using the ancient Palestinian equivalent of a toilet. Regardless, he returns to hear the other ten apostles proclaiming the good news that Jesus has risen from the dead and shown himself alive. To this, Thomas famously replies, "Unless I see the mark of the nail in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe." (John 20:25)

Now, why would Thomas have responded in such a closed off and confrontational manner? Perhaps he is simply a skeptic. Wouldn't you be? The idea of a man, even a man like Jesus, rising from the dead after only three short days is a fantastic story, not to mention crazy. There are countless people today who are skeptical of the same thing.

However, I don't think skepticism is really at play here. Thomas had followed Jesus for three years. He had see the man work miracle after miracle, even going so far as to raise others from the dead. Thomas, like the others, believed the profession of Peter that Jesus was the Christ, the Son of the Living God (Matthew 16:13-20; Mark 8:27-30; Luke 9:18-20). No, I think the refusal of Thomas to believe in the resurrection reveals something much deeper: the destruction of hope.

Imagine following Jesus. Imagine believing that he is the Messiah, the one who has come to save Israel from captivity and free them from bondage, both earthly and spiritual. Imagine putting all of your hope, all of your faith, and all of your expectation into this man who can walk on water, raise the dead, and drive out demons with a word. Now, imagine watching this man be savagely beaten, spit upon, whipped, and made to carry the instrument of his own execution. Imagine what it must feel like to watch him be nailed naked to a cross in full view of the people he professed to save. Imagine the heartbreak that Thomas must have felt, not just for Jesus, his dear friend and mentor, but for himself and every other person who put faith in this poor rabbi who was made to die a criminal's death. In a way, Jesus was not the only one to die that day. All of the hopes, dreams, and faith of the people who followed him, including Thomas, had been nailed on that cross alongside Jesus. Thomas' hope was killed as well that day, and it must have been agony.

Now, fast forward three days. The eleven are hiding, scared to suffer Jesus' fate.The terrible memory and deep anguish of a hope demolished were still fresh in Thomas' heart. Then, after a short time away, Thomas returns to hear that Jesus is alive! This was not only too good to be true, it was too good to be believable. It was too good to be taken seriously. To a man who had not had the time to even begin rebuilding his faith and hope in God, this must have come as just another slap to the face. So, in anger and frustration at nobody in particular, Thomas makes his proclamation that he will not believe unless he has seen and touched the man himself. He cannot believe. He cannot open his heart to have faith, especially after it had been so hurt the last time he had believed in anything.

Thus, the gospel reveals to us, through the person of Thomas, a kind of mirror into our own experience of vulnerability, suffering, and the feeling of betrayal. Thomas, though offered a way out of his misery and self-devouring heartbreak, opts to remain in the belief that Jesus is dead. Why would he do that? Simply put, Thomas, like the rest of us at some time or another, has been fooled by the enemy into accepting and dwelling in suffering as a way of avoiding the new and unknown. Even though consolation is offered to him, the Devil uses the feelings of betrayal and loss in order to make Thomas avoid vulnerability, and in turn, reject love. We, like Thomas, tend to accept the suffering we know in order to avoid or put off the joy that we don't. Thomas' reaction to the news of the resurrection reveals to us our own fear of heartbreak that manifests itself in a lack of openness and vulnerability.

In his pain, the enemy convinces Thomas that to believe in anything is to suffer, and suffering is to be avoided. So Thomas puts a condition on his belief: He must touch and feel the risen Lord, and then his heart will begin to accept the invitation of consolation.

And it is important that Thomas asks for something tangible. He needs to experience the fullness of Jesus resurrected to have his heart healed. The simple news of it will not due. Is this not true in our own world as well? The news of Jesus is good, but without the fullness of an experience, the Gospel is just a collection of stories and the scriptures just another book. Thomas, like many of us in a hurting and broken world, need to experience Jesus with all of our senses to make up for the hurt and demoralization we feel.

So Jesus comes, and the first thing he says is to Thomas. "Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe." (John 20:27). I imagine that Jesus, knowing full-well the depth of the heartbreak that Thomas felt, must have looked upon him with love and care. "Come", his eyes must have said, "and have your hope restored." And how does Thomas react to this? He cries out, with tears in his eyes and renewed faith in his soul, "My Lord and my God!" (John 20:28). His experience allows him to believe again in the hope of the Messiah. In a way, Thomas' belief was also raised from the dead on Easter Sunday.

Jesus ends this passage by teaching Thomas by his experience. "Jesus said to him [Tomas], 'Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed'" (John 20:29). Jesus tells us that the more blessed faith is that which does not falter in the face of adversity. True faith does not shrink under hardship or wither under pressure. True faith goes beyond the sensual experience of life and penetrates deep into our very being, changing us, strengthening us.

May we all pray for this blessing as the Israelite man did in Mark 9:24, "I believe, help my unbelief!" Let us pray for the faith the size of a mustard seed that changes us and allows us to move mountains, and let us recognize the blessing that Jesus tells us it truly is in today's gospel. But let us also understand the smallness of our own faith, and let us run to Jesus in the Eucharist. Let us fully experience him with all of our senses as Thomas did, and let that experience reveal to us a deeper faith and allow us to truly hope in things that are yet intangible and yet unseen.

St Thomas, Pray for us,
St Jospeh, model of manliness, pray for us
Father in heaven, bless us

Tragic Misappropriation

I think we all want to think of ourselves as smart, don't we? It's not that we just want to hold a conversation or gain the admiration of other people. While all of that is nice, and even useful or pleasant, humanity seeks knowledge in an effort to grasp that which is bigger than ourselves. We seek to wrap our minds around complex realities that fascinate and amaze us, not simply because we want to amuse or educate ourselves, but because central to our personhood is an orientation to the greater, more transcendent, elements of life which go beyond our simple senses and lead us to the conclusion that we cannot be made for a limited time or space.

The very fact that we can see and conceptualize something beyond what we see and feel separates us from the rest of the created world. No matter how smart your dog may be, or how many signs you teach Koko the gorilla, they will never be able have faith or hope in anything because they have no sense of it. They are merely mortal creation, bound to the limits of their sensory world.

Sad right? NO! This is order! This is natural hierarchy! This is the nature of all creation pointing to us and past us as we stand on the pinnacle of what can be held, and look beyond us to a world that can only be known by revelation and meditation. It can be pondered and expounded upon, and our knowledge of it can be transposed by those gifted by God with the depth of intellect needed to pare such transcendent realities into something that can be understood and studied.

It is with these minds pondering all manner of science and philosophy that we come to understand who we are and how we were made, both physically and spiritually, and we gain an understanding of how we are to relate to one another and how we are to relate to that singular infinite greatness that stands above us and reaches out to us. This is how we come to study philosophy, theology, sociology, history, biology, and all other manner of sciences that are meant to pull our experiential and spiritual knowledge together and bring us into greater awe and devotion to the one who made it all.

However, what happens when God is ignored? What happens when the gift of intellect is given yet misdirected. What happens when the hierarchy of nature is disregarded, or worse, what if those gifted and eloquent minds take the pointing of nature to indicate finality and climax in the human person, and a philosophical glass ceiling is placed on the investigation of who we are?

Neichze: Thinking as crazy as his mustache

In a western world where we do not want for anything material, and are slowly ridding ourselves of any true connection or relationship of self-giving love, we are leaving our minds and hearts open and able to hit the limits of sensual experience and turn back inward upon ourselves. All of a sudden, the wants and desires of our hearts and minds, the only things that remain even partially transcendent, become gods of our making that demand worship.

All of a sudden, those minds who were gifted to grasp and verbalize the transcendent mysteries are given the place of priest and prophet within the secular religion, and they are tasked to look at the disorder of life and explain it away. Whether we are talking of sexual immorality, loss of identity, or simply the habitual sin experienced and perpetrated by countless souls on a daily basis, the task of the thinker is to make it okay.

So, as a result, we have theories and philosophies that could fill thousands of volumes. However, all lead to the same end: Everything is moral, and every new depravity can be chalked up to social phenomena or societal evolution. All this because the God and Father if all, who made all thing to point beyond humanity to a place that fulfills all desire, is removed, and all that was made to point to eternity become an ends in themselves. Philosophical and social scientific thought is done for its own sake, leaving us with a culture that continually practices a form of intellectual masturbation.


And who are the casualties of such a system? Simply put, the students. Those disciples of the secular prophets who are subject day after day to the thought of other lost souls cannot help but to drown in what they are served. The result are artists and thinkers who spit out the same misguided ideas of humanity and our "purpose" under the guise of free thought and enlightenment. All the while, they dig deeper and deeper inward upon their own hearts and minds, trying to find meaning that remains behind them, beyond that glass ceiling and into eternity.

At the end of the day, we cannot look at our world without first understanding and realizing that there is a loving Creator who built all things in order to bring us closer to him. He is not doing so to achieve some sort of vain glory. On the contrary, he has laid the path before us to walk into eternity. He has come down, incarnate, to bridge the gaps and set us free from the ropes of relativism and sin that bind us to our senses. We must take a step beyond what we see and know, and allow ourselves to be caught up into a person that is ever ancient, yet ever new.

Saint Joseph, pray for us
Father, God in heaven, bless us

A Beautiful Day. A Beautiful Beginning.

We love weddings here in America. We really do. And why not? Weddings are awesome! Your friends and family are happy, everyone loves each other for a day, the food is good, there's dancing, and you get a big fat slice of gourmet cake. There is almost no downside! The Church loves weddings too. Two people coming together freely for the sole purpose of giving of themselves as a gift to the other. The wedding marks the beginning a new chapter in the life of the bride and groom, but also in the life of all their family and friends who have assembled to celebrate this occasion with them.

This wedding fever expands far beyond the ceremony itself. We have shows like The Bachelor, Say Yes to the Dress, Bridezillas, Amazing Wedding Cakes, and all other manner of shows that track every aspect of the wedding from the couple's first meeting to the alter and reception. Wedding episodes of other shows end up being the highest rated episodes of the series. Even the stories we tell our kids end up with a couple getting married and living "happily ever after". If you still don't believe me, just look at the cost of every aspect of the wedding, from the dress, to the cake, to the hall, to the music, and the prices that people are willing to pay to put on the perfect ceremony and reception.

There is not doubt that we are obsessed. We are trained to dream of "that special day" from the time that we notice the opposite sex. But at the same time, the divorce rate still hovers around 51% percent in the United States. How can this be? How can a culture that is so in love with weddings be so volatile for marriages? On the flip side, why put so much money and so much dreaming into a wedding that only has a 1 in 2 chance of working out.

The answer is simple: In a culture where 51% of marriages fail, we insist on the perfect wedding in order to ensure that we can at least hold on to one perfect memory.

We're talking about a culture of fear. Marriages are not emphasized or glorified. They are not though of as sacred or holy. The gift of self is thought of as more of a business exchange than a self-giving. We even have pre-nuptial agreements, legal contracts, predicated on the assumption that marriages will end. Is it any shock then that we look forward to weddings instead of marriages? If you are truly afraid of being hurt, why wouldn't you put as much effort as possible into making sure that the one day you control turns out perfectly? The fear of divorce and the cultural wedding obsession have become a self-fulfilling prophecy in which weddings grow and become more extravagant while more and more marriages suffer and die.

Now, I do not think bad thing to love weddings. It is an awesome thing to look forward to taking those vows and celebrating that unity. A couple should look forward to their wedding day in the same way that a seminarian looks forward to his holy orders and a novice sister looks forward to the day she takes her final vows. I am simply saying that we need a shift. 

Stop thinking of a wedding of an end instead of a beginning. A man and a woman are entering into one life and one love together. Use the wedding as a way to look forward. Dream about your future spouse and the life that you can build together. Truly think and pray about the lengths you will go to love your spouse and give of yourself to ensure their happiness and their good. Marriages are supposed to be so strong that only death can part the two. We need to enter marriages with the mindset that we will stay together forever, and we will work to ensure that we do not fail.

 We limit ourselves when we simply get caught up in wedding fever and dream only of the wedding day. The wedding is the start of a sacramental life shared by two people. That is something that is far more exciting than the day it all begins.

St. Joseph, model of mahood, pray for us

Father in heaven, bless us.

What Now...?

Jesus Christ, the Messiah, the Lord of the Universe, is dead and laid in the tomb. Imagine that you are one of his disciples. Yesterday Jesus was beaten, scorned, insulted, gored, and hung on a cross to die naked in front a crowd of those who hated him and celebrated his demise. And what did you do? Maybe you ran. Maybe you hid. Were you afraid for your own life? Did you think, maybe they would do the same to you if they found you? How do you feel today, Saturday? What do you do when the man you gave everything for is gone?

Scripture doesn't really tell us much about what the apostles did on Holy Saturday. We know from Luke (23:56) that they rested according to the Sabbath. Did they go to the temple? If they did, they must have tried to remain inconspicuous. The voice of Jesus must have still been ringing in their ears when he said, "No slave is greater than his master. If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you... they will do these things to you on account of my name" (John 15:20-21).

The Apostles together on Holy Saturday

They must have felt lost. They must have thought to themselves, "what now?". Maybe the words of Peter came to mind. "Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." (John 6:68). Imagine the quiet emptiness that they must have felt. Imagine the feelings of abandonment. Imagine what it must have felt like to give three years of your life to a man and his cause, only to see him die. Not only that, but to know that you just ran away; to know that you valued your own life so much that you weren't even there to comfort him. I'm sure that Peter is not the only one who denied knowing Jesus that day.

We do know some things, however. We know that they returned to the upper room and stayed together. Indeed, on Easter Sunday, Jesus finds them there together (Jn 20: 19, 26). They were supporting and consoling each other. They must have been praying for a next step. We know that Mary of Magdala was there. When they saw Jesus, it says they returned to the upper room to tell the apostles (Jn 20:1-2; Mt 27:7-8; Mk 16:7; Lk 24: 7-8).

We can also assume that Mary was with them. John took her into his home (Jn 19:27), and as they were all together, she must have been there too. Imagine the comfort she must have been to them. She had a faith that surpassed all of them. She knew from the moment she gave her 'yes' to the angel (Lk 1:38), and from her encounter with Simeon in the temple those many years before (Lk 2:34-35), that this day was coming. She was their mother now (Jn 19:26). Yes, she was mourning  Yes, she must have been in more pain then any of them, but she knew that her son would come through. She believed.

Mary the Comforter

So, on this day of quiet contemplation, on this day of quiet desolation as our Lord rests in the tomb, I encourage you to be seek comfort in the arms of Mary, our mother. She is a model of faith. She is a model of patient perseverance. As we entered the tomb with Christ last night and stay there today, ask Mary to pray for you. Ask her to dry your tears and lead your prayers. Let yourself be buried in her embrace and allow her to bring you deeper into the Paschal Mystery. That way, when the bells ring tonight at the first Easter mass of the year, we can truly experience the joy of the Risen Lord as Mary and the apostles do.

Mary, mother of the Church, pray for us
God, Father in Heaven, bless us

That Good Friday

The Passion of our Lord : Mt 27; Mk 15; Lk 23; Jn 19

After a night in jail, Jesus is bound and led to the palace of Pontius Pilate, the Roman governor of the province. The Jews themselves have no power to execute criminals. That is a power held only by the Romans. So, they gather outside of Pilate residence and call for him to executeJesus on the charge of heresy.

Pilate is a man who is careful in his actions. He has political ambitions that go beyond the outpost in Jerusalem, and he doesn't want to do anything that might hinder his upward mobility. He is also a just man who doesn't want any unnecessary blood on his hands. So, when they bring this man, this Jesus, bound and beaten into his presence, he is curious. They say that he calls himself a king. They say that he has made himself the Son of God. Pilate takes Jesus into the praetorium to question him.

Pilate asks repeatedly whether or not Jesus is a king, and Jesus refuses to give him a straight answer. Finally, Jesus says, "my kingdom is not of this world." (Jn 18:36). Pilate walks out and addresses the crowd that welcomed Jesus as the Messiah a few short days ago. He does not find any guilt in Jesus. The crowds call loudly for his crucifixion. In order to placate them, and to possibly save this innocent man's life, Pilate offers to give the Jews a choice of which prisoner to release, and which to execute. He can either release Jesus, or he can release Barabbas, a revolutionary and a murderer. To Pilate surprise, they call for Barabbas. In Hebrew, Bar-abbas means "Son of the Father". In this way, the true Son is handed over to death while an impostor is released.

Pilate still refuses to execute Jesus. Instead he says that he will have him scourged and then release him. The whips used to scourge prisoners had nine straps, all attached to bones, glass, hooks, and metal pieces that were meant to tear the flesh from the bones. By the time Jesus is brought back, he would have been unrecognizable. He would have been a bloody mess. After he is scourged, the guards weave a crown out of thorns and place it on his head. They place a reed in his hand and a purple robe on his back. He is dressed as a makeshift king, and on his head are the same thorns that Adam was cursed to pull forth from the ground (Gen 3: 18). The new Adam is crowned with the fruit of Adams sin.

Jesus is brought back before the Jews, and they still call for his crucifixion. Pilate tries to intercede for him. He tries to release him, but the Jews call out, "If you release him, you are not a friend of Caesar." (Jn 19:12). So, under the weight of public pressure, Pilate allows them to take Jesus to crucify him.

The cross is laid on the back of Jesus. He is made to walk it along with two criminals. The walk itself is about a mile long, first through the hot, winding streets of Jerusalem, then out of the city to the place of the skull, in Hebrew, Golgotha. Along the way, the same people who called him the Son of David now mock him and jeer at him. He is beaten and spit upon. People cry out to him and curse him. Jesus knows every single one of them. He knows their hearts. He knew them when they were conceived and he knows their every joy and hurt. He loves them. He weeps for them. These are the people who he is dying for. These are those for whom he has chosen to give everything.

He falls over and over. The weight of the cross is simply too much for his battered frame to handle. So, in order to keep him alive until they reach Golgotha, the guards pull Simon, a Cyrenian, of the crowd and press him into service. Simon puts his arm over the blood soaked cross. He likely doesn't realize that a single drop of that blood could save all of humanity. Jesus must have looked at him. What were those eyes like? The holiness and the love, still visible through the blood and tears, was enough to draw Simon in. It was enough to make him help this man he never knew.

Jesus is walked up to the hill, and there he is crucified. They lay him on the wood of the cross, and the drive nails through his wrists and through his ankles. The nails they used were comparable in size to railroad spikes, and the sound they made as they were pounded repeatedly through flesh and bone must have been nauseating. Jesus is crucified and the cross is placed in the ground. There he hung as people mocked him, spit upon him, and cursed his name. The tempted him to prove his power by coming down. Even one of the other men crucified called for him to step down from the cross. But he stays on the cross. He stays immersed in suffering because he knew that we would not have a choice to come down from our own crosses.

His last action is to call forth John, and disciple that he loved, and his mother, Mary. To John he says,"Behold, your mother", and to Mary, "Behold, your son." (Jn 19:26-27). The last thing he has on earth, his relationship with his mother, he relinquishes for our good. He makes sure that there is no relationship and no thing that he still possesses at the end. He gives everything there is to give, and after three hours of torture, he gives up his spirit.

What relief to be finished. To be taken off the cross and to be laid in a tomb. What sorrow and abandonment must the disciples have felt. Did we run like they did? Did we follow behind and curse him or deny that we knew him? Did we try to help like Simon? Today, we enter into the tomb with our Lord. We feel his absence. We know the reality of his death. Today, mourn the loss of our God, but remain hopeful. We will see that we cannot have a cross without a resurrection. We cannot have a Good Friday without an Easter Sunday.

Joseph, model of manhood, pray for us
God, Father in heaven, bless us

Morality is for Real... Suck it Up

Look, I've already reconciled with the fact that, when it comes to my sociology classes, I am The Enemy. I am a Catholic, conservative, middle class, white, straight, male. According to my classes and classmates, this means that all "inequality" that has been "suffered" by women, minorities, the poor, and those with same-sex attractions throughout the centuries is not only caused, but is maintained by me and my ilk.

How do we evil men do it? We apply gender roles and arbitrary morals on people throughout their lives in order to keep everyone stuck in mud along with us. We obviously refuse to think or to "open our minds". It goes without saying that we hate everyone who disagrees with us. "Why can't we all just get along?", you ask, and we simply respond by punching people in the face and imposing our morality on the poor, oppressed masses.

If you think this is who I am or what the Catholic Church is, I ask you gently turn off your computer and slam your head forcefully and repeatedly into the nearest wall for all the good you bring to this discussion. I'm only going to say this once: The norms that we have and the morals that have been passed down by the Church through the millennia are not an imposition or an effort to keep everyone else from having fun or "being who they are" (hippies). They are objective reality and truth that has been tested and refined over the course of HUNDREDS of years by some of the most intelligent and enlightened men ever to grace this planet. Simply because you don't like it doesn't mean it's wrong. Simply because it calls you to change does not mean its an imposition.

Stacks upon stacks of wisdom

Right and wrong are concrete objective states. Just because it challenges you doesn't mean you have ability to define you own morality. The second you start to say that what's right "for you" is different than what's right "for me" you should return to slamming your head into that good ol' wall. You see, the danger in trying to define your own morality is that you make yourself the author of right and wrong. What arrogance! What self-aggrandizement! The danger in saying "why can't we just let everyone do their own thing" means that you're still limiting those who disagree with you.

For instance, in the debate over same-sex marriages, people keep coming back to the idea that everyone should just allow everyone to do what makes them happy. Everyone should just be allowed to marry whoever they want and practice marriage however they want. Well, say that your right and marriage is allowed to be redefined. All of a sudden, the largest organization of people in the world, the Catholic Church, is forced to betray their morals. Why can't they be allowed to practice and defend what they believe? Is it because you simply don't like it?

Relative thinking in terms of morality always falls apart because it doesn't work in reality  One morality always needs to be placed above the others. To fall into a groove of right and wrong, whether you define your own or not, means that someone else is indeed WRONG. So the question becomes, what makes your morality (or lack thereof) so much better than mine? Your degree? The Catholic Church is and always has been the center of thought and education the world over. Is it your life experience? The Church has existed for 2000+ years and has experienced all manner of life over that course of time. Is it your novelty of insight? Well why would novelty in morality be appealing to being with? In the chaotic nature of the world we live in, why would I want to follow an unproven system of morality? The Church understands the human person, and the morals and doctrines that are passed down come from the fundamental knowledge of the wants and needs of the human person.

Here's a new thought, your "enlightened" thinking has bound you. You are a slave to the shifting trends and fashions of thought that go by the wayside when a new philosophy presents itself. History is full of examples. The sexual revolution and the rise of contraception, which was supposed to free women, has resulted in a 50% divorce rate, higher rates of domestic violence, and the abortion of 1/4 children who are conceived. Is that freedom? The enlightenment of the 18th century was supposed to result in peace and equality for all, but it resulted in the French Revolution and the widespread use of the guillotine. The spread of communism was supposed to put everyone on equal footing and ensure the happiness of all citizens. In the Soviet Union alone, it resulted in the death of millions of innocent people.

The morals that the Church puts forward are concrete and are proven. They are not a list of legalistic rules that need to be followed for their own sake. They are invitations to freedom! Think of it like this. Your life is a high plateau with a sheer 200 ft drop on all sides. The doctrines of the Church are the fence that keep you safe and free. You can do anything you want within the fence. You're also free t jump the fence, but this comes with the unfortunate consequence of a 200 ft fall to your death. You are not limited by the fence. It doesn't ruin your happiness. On the contrary, this absolute and concrete set of posts and pickets keeps you alive and allows you to experience life to its fullest.

Cartoons teach us so much!

Every "thou shalt not" comes with a "thou shall". Every "you cannot" comes with a "you can". The Church, in her infinite and proven wisdom is inviting all of us to truly live life to the full. We cannot do that with a relative idea of what is right and wrong. If nothing is wrong, then nothing is right. The rules come not from hate but from a loving understanding of who we are as human beings. Nobody faults a parent for the rules that they lay out for their children. They simply know their children and what they need. The Church is the same way. Let go of your pride! Accept that you don't know everything and allow yourself to learn! Stop trying to make the world in your own image. It is only when we let go that we can truly begin to make sense of things. So yes, morality is concrete, objective, and real. Suck it up and enjoy your life for once!

Joseph, model of manliness, pray for us
God, Father in heaven, bless us.

Death to Ugg Boots: Fashion and Laziness

I mean, I WAS awesome

When I was little, one of my favorite things to do was to play what we called "Be People" games. Whether it would be X-men, Power Rangers, professional wrestlers, or acting like characters from a favorite movie or TV show, my little friends and I would do everything we could to "be" the person we were representing. Sometimes we just made things up. We created heroes and personas in our prepubescent brains that excited us and made us feel like the superheroes we wanted to be. Freaking cool right?

This endeavor was only made more epic when we found some sheets in the basement or stick in the woods that we could use as a sort of prop to make the whole thing more real. Our character had a look. We could dress like them. We could act like them. For all intents and purposes, we could be them.

I've never lost that idea, that I could be the person that I have made in my mind. He's not some warrior or superhero, but he is a good man. Everything I do is, in a way, an effort try to bring that character to life; to become this man of virtue. So, I act in a certain way. I dress in a certain way. I take on the values that this man in my mind has that I want. I try to be him in my interactions with others, because they deserve him. I try and try and, slowly but surely, and by the grace of the Father, I am becoming him.

So, when I see the girl on campus or in one of my classes who consistently shows up in a hoodie and yoga pants, or the guy who wears his basketball shorts around as a sort of all-purpose wear, I have to wonder, who are they trying to be? Maybe their characters are constantly on their way to the gym. Maybe it's always laundry day. Maybe Ionly catch them on a day off. Who can really know?

What I do know is this: as a man, when I see an otherwise lovely girl in class dressed as if she doesn't care, all I can think is that she's lazy or that she doesn't doesn't really have a lot of self respect. The same goes for guys in shorts and a dirty sweatshirt. I don't care what team you support or what stain you think is unnoticeable. Put some pants on!

I've thought a lot about this, and the slow decline into slovenliness when it comes to the way we dress is kind of shocking. We're more concerned with comfort than with what our appearances say about who we are. More worried about time then we are about where we're going. I don't mean to say that we should be overly concerned with our appearances or what other people think. That's called pride. But for goodness sake, respect yourself enough to show that you care!

Now, I know that I'm just another man. I don't know the ins and outs of fashion, I don't have an extensive wardrobe, and I'm not proud to say that I have indeed picked up a shirt, sniffed it, and decided that it was good for one more wear. However, I can tell you that I try to look like I care when I dress myself. I try to present myself in a way that speaks positively about me. And, thankfully for everyone else, I threw that shirt in the laundry where it belonged.

So, for both men and women, I've figured out some general rules that will help you out. This is not a dos and donts of fashion. Consider this more of a "Don't Look Like a Bum Seminar". I will try to be as much of an equal opportunity offender as possible, but if I seem more heavy handed for the women, it's only because you're more perfect than us men, and greater power comes with greater responsibility.

So without further ado, here are Perry's General Rules For Not Looking Homeless.

The Outer Reflects the Inner: 
Let's face it, there's a reason we care about what others think. We're afraid of being judged for things that we find shameful and proud to be considered honorable or admirable in some way. This is because we know innately that the day to day behaviors and appearances that we put forward are seen and evaluated, and it reflects back on us as a person. This is because, no matter how hard we try, the things we do and say reflect something about our inmost self. It is no different for the way we dress.

A woman who honestly cares about being looked on in a creepy or lustful way dresses as to prevent it. Someone who really doesn't care at all about how they are seen will dress as such. Someone who really values the people or the places that they are encountering will take time to show this respectin how they dress (more on this aspect later).

So, when deciding between comfort and effort, stop choosing the easy way out every time. Ladies, instead of yoga pants, or those God-forsaken leggings which ARE NOT PANTS, throw on a pair of jeans. Instead of sandals, gentlemen, tie your freakin' shoes. Wear a button up, or at least a clean hoodie, instead of the same t-shirt. When you actually put a moment of effort into how you looks it shows people that you care about yourself. It shows people that you're confident. It shows people that you are actually trying to be a functioning member of society. Step it up and start caring.

Modest is Hottest (Really!):
Spring sucks at George Mason, and here's why: it's like there's a shortage of cloth all of a sudden. Necklines get lower and shorts and skirts get higher. It's like we're doing all we can to cover the central 2 feet of our bodies to the detriment of our tops and bottoms. This goes for guys too. Sun's out, guns out? Really? You're that proud of your freckly farmers tan and scraggly pit-hair? No thank you.

Like I said above, how we dress is a reflection on who we are. If you dress immodestly or over-sexually, you are going to be objectified. Period. It's not just the fault of the person who is looking. It's not the responsibility of other people to avert their eyes. It's on you. There is a level of responsibility on other people's part to look away when they see you dressed inappropriately, but it's your responsibility not to make it difficult.  Don't dress to accentuate parts of your body that you don't want people to stare at.

Gross...

Protect yourself and respect yourself! you are not just some piece of meat to be ogled or some canvas on which to paint as little clothing as possible. Men, you're not the center of the world or a statue to be admired. You're also not the greatest thing in the world, so stop thinking you are. If you cover up, it actually tells people that you think you have layers worth penetrating and secrets worth keeping. If you don't dress like you think you should be carved in marble, people might actually think you have something concrete to offer. It's an attractive thing if you can pull back. It's beautiful thing if you show that you care about how people see you. It's a holy thing to love others by loving and respecting yourself in the right way.

Context:
The way you dress also shows us what you honestly think about the people you encounter and the places you go. If you dress like a bum in class, you show that you don't think anyone else there really deserves the respect shown by putting real clothes on. If you wear jeans to Sunday mass, you show that you don't believe your God is worth dressing up for.

This goes for all public outings. It doesn't matter if it's dinner, the movies, or coffee with friends. Your appearance shows others what you think of others. It's why lawyers wear suits to work and why priests wear clerics. It's why your professors dress up and why we put effort into who we look on dates. We want to show that we give a hoot. We want to show that we take the other people or the the situation seriously. It's our responsibility to show respect in every aspect of life, including appearance. It doesn't take a lot, maybe just a shave or  some jeans without holes.

A Special Note to Women:
Ladies, I wanted to take a second to highlight you. This is mainly a blog about manhood, but if you're reading this, I thank you and ask you to please take some advice from a kindhearted man who cares about you.  You are more perfect than us. God created you last, and gave you abilities and strengths than no man could ever dream of. He told us to serve you and to protect you, and even though we fail, many of us make an honest effort everyday to show you what you're worth. Take the following as a an attempt at protection and encouragement.

Modest. Beautiful. Attractive.

It is an attractive thing to see a woman who puts effort into how she looks. When you carry yourself with poise, grace, confidence, and modesty, it makes us want to be around you. Not simply for the chance to take you on a date, but for the opportunity to know you as person and to be enlightened by your company. On the other hand, it turns us away to see a woman without respect for herself. It certainly doesn't make us respect her any more. When we see you wear Ugg boots or leggings to class instead of real shoes or pants, it brings to mind laziness. Its not that they are immodest or even ugly, it's just that you're gorgeous and could do so much better for yourself.

I understand comfort. Some situations do not demand as much effort. All I'm saying is that we do not simply want to spend time with well dressed and confident women as eye-candy. It really does reveal to us a level of respect you have for yourself that is in itself, attractive. The only shame in seeing you dress lazily is that you so are so beautiful and don't seem to know it; so lovely but unwilling to show it.

In Conclusion...
Remember that these are just general rules from a guy who only has his day to day experience as research. There are extenuating circumstances and these rules don't always apply to every situation. Also remember that we as men are just a bad as dressing lazy, if not worse. I am not innocent either.

Simply remember that it's all about how you see yourself and how you express that to others. respect yourself. Love Yourself. Respect others, and love them too by showing them in all aspects of your life, including dress.

St Joseph, model of manhood, pray for us
God, Father in Heaven, bless us

How to Discern: A Few Pointers From A Friend

Within Catholic communities, especially young adult groups, the term discernment gets tossed around a lot. "I'm discerning my vocation", "I'm discerning what job to take", "I'm discerning whether or not I should date that girl". It's our way of telling people that we're really taking our time and putting our prayer and reason into making a decision. We're not just thinking, we're discerning. Often times it brings to mind images of solemn people on their knees in a pew with their heads bowed in prayer waiting to hear the next step. To me it also brings to mind the image of stressing over a decision, one that is life or death. "I'm discerning this, so I better not get it wrong!"

Nowhere, in my experience, is this more true than in the realm of vocational discernment. And why not? If God really has one vocation for me, I want to know where I'm going! And how do I figure that out? I had better think long and hard about it. I really feel like I should get married, or is that just what I want? What does God want? Should I be a priest? I don't really feel like it, but maybe I'm not open enough? How do I get more open? What does open even mean? I want one thing so that must mean that God wants the opposite! That guy on retreat told me that God laughs at our plans, why is he laughing! I don't know what to do! I can't get this wrong! I only have one shot! If I get it wrong my life is ruined!!! AH!! ... Oh hey that girl is pretty, I feel called to date her now.

Sound familiar? Welcome to the mind of many a young Catholic man. We want to know what God wants, but we don't know how to get there. So, instead of really discerning, we just stress ourselves into oblivion. Don't get me wrong. We need to take our time to discern and pray about what God is truly calling us to, and this may take the form of frantic prayer at times, but if we are truly discerning, the Lord is going to guide us. We should be able to find peace and joy in the discernment process. If you 're angry or in turmoil about it, you're probably doing it wrong.

So here are a few pointers from a guy who is also trying to figure his life out. Hopefully they help you along your path of discernment.

- Know What You're Really Ready For- I work for a great priest. He'll remain nameless here, suffice to say that he has helped me on many occasion simply by speaking a few words. Once, when I was 18, I was stressing about what my vocation was supposed to be, and I just had to know. It was like God had a secret that I wasn't in on, and I wanted the scoop. So I asked Father what I should do and how I could know what I was called to. He looked at me for a second before asking, "Do you think you're ready to be married tomorrow?", to which I responded, "Oh gosh, no! I'm only 18!". He laughed and told me, "If you're not ready to commit to a vocation at this moment, you probably don't need to know". And he was right. Guys, don't discern something unless you're really ready to know the answer and ACT on it. The Lord reveal things when we are truly ready, and that includes when we are actually ready to pursue the calling. Often times we just want to know our future vocation for no other reason than to glimpse our future. This is pride gentlemen. Live in the moment, not in the future. If you are not ready in the moment, then you have other things you could be working on.

- One Thing at a Time- All too often, I hear my friends who are in relationships talk about whether or not they are called to be a priest. These are holy guys who just want to follow the Lords plan for their life, but their focus is more on the ends than their current situation. As a result, they end up discerning the wrong thing. If you are in a relationship, it is unfair to your significant other to be discerning another vocation. To discern means putting your energy and focus into one thing to determine whether or not you are called to continue or to abandon that particular endeavor. If you are dating someone, it means that you are discerning whether or not that person is supposed to be your spouse. To have your mind on priesthood while dating her would be unfair. It would be the same as a seminarian who is studying for the priesthood to take a girl out on a date. It simply doesn't work. He would be discerning two vocations at once, which would be unfair to both. He would need to fully apply himself to one in order to see if he was called to it or not. Then he could know whether or not to consider the other. If you are dating someone, consider yourself in the "seminary of her". Put your effort into praying about her, with her, and for her. Get to know her. Find out who she is, what she believes, and why she believes it. What does she hope for? Where is God taking her? Approach your relationship the same way seminarians approach their studies: with awe, humility, and openness. That way, even if you come to the realization that she is not the one, you gave her a fair chance and made an informed decision. Any other way is simply half-hearted commitment.

- Don't Go At It Alone- Often times we think that our discernment is just between us and God. That is simply untrue. In order to fully discern something, you need to talk to other people. Talk to a priest about seminary. Talk to married people about dating. Talk to a monk or sister about novitiate. Notice that I said married people, and not dating or single, and that I said priest, not seminarian. Talk to someone who has sealed the deal! They are the ones who have fully discerned and taken the leap or faith. They have made public vows saying that that have discerned the decision through, and they are living with the results. They know more than your friends! Also, find a spiritual director. A priest, deacon, or religious person who knows you and can offer an honest assessment of how you are doing, and what you should be doing. Let them guide you. Listen to what they have to say. They know more than you! If you allow yourself to be guided by trusted leaders, you will not go astray.

- Pray, Pray, Pray- Let me ask you... how many of the things that you "discern" do you really take to prayer? I'm not talking quick mentions here and there. I mean real prayer. Do you ask questions? Do you allow them to be answered? Do you just talk and talk? Do you even want to know the answers? Every step along the way of discernment should be rooted in prayer. Pray about whether to discern something in the first place. Pray about the next step. Pray about continuing. Pray about concerns. Pray about things that you're excited about. If you are truly called to something, you will notice two things. First, the things that you are called to will stay constant. If you are really meant to do something, the Lord will keep putting the same thing on your heart for a long time. Don't be afraid to take your time. Discernment always yields results just as you need an answer and never sooner. Just take a breath and stop thinking that your vocational discernment is an episode of 24. Secondly, if you are really called to something, you will be at peace about it. It may scare the poo out of you, but it will be peaceful. You will know if it is the right thing. Trust me. Bring prayer into every aspect of discernment, and you will not go wrong. I can promise you that.

I hope this helped to shed some light on some worries you're been having. If you have any questions  feel free to comment below. Otherwise, just remember that our God does not keep secrets. He simply takes his time to reveal his plans. That time may seem like an eternity to us, but we will find out the answers we need when we are ready to hear them. As it says in Jeremiah 29:11 " I know well the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for your woe, so as to give you a future full of hope."

Joseph, model of manhood, pray for us
God, Father in heaven, bless us